Coffee Shop of Horrors

I was at my local coffee shop getting some stuff online done while enjoying a yummy cup of coffee. Daphne had just got up from her nap and was being such a good girl. Suddenly, she starts doing her infamous grunts that warn of an impending diaper change. I have her sitting on my lap and am waiting for her to finish, when I feel a warm wet sensation on my pant leg. She doesn't just have a wet diaper, she has had explosive diarrhea all over my leg and up the back of her outfit. The smell was horrifying! There was no way I could possibly change her. I had to wrap her in a blanket and run the hell out of there. She had to go straight in the bathtub. Not fun y'all. Babies are cute and cuddly and wonderful in so many ways but keep in mind that it is a 5 year minimum sentence of vomit and shit mmmmk.